Scars

For fun (and for the sake of saving myself time) I thought I would share another of my old diary/ blog posts from High School. The following is from the first blogging site I ever joined, at age 17. The blogs I wrote back then were more like diary entries in that they were sometimes very personal. At this point in my life, I was a few months into studying Tae Kwon Do and Aikido (making good on some goals I’d made earlier in 2002).  I’ve also altered the names because it’s been over a decade and I don’t even communicate with some of these people anymore – thought I would extend them the courtesy of relative anonymity.

For anyone interested, this is a photo of the dent I refer to in the entry. Yes, still visible 13 years later – it’s the shadowed area in the middle of my shin. Admittedly more impressive in person:

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Before I leave you with this old entry, I want to remind everyone that I will be live in Google Hangouts for a live chat this coming Saturday January 23rd, at 3 PM CST. More about that Here.

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DATE: 01/14/2003 20:48:41

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BODY:

Hey there all. I’m back. I just got home from the dojo not too long ago. And I feel like I’m falling apart.

1) I have a rather freakish dent in my right shin…yes a DENT….how did it get there? I was sparring this one guy one night after Aikido and I went to give him a good roundhouse to the hip, I mean I put a lot of power into it…and he brought his knee up to block it. My shin rammed into his knee and left this dent there…I have yet to actually see a doctor about it, though I probably should.

2)The back of my left knee..I have no idea why, but the ligaments or something got pulled. pain results, Nuff said.

3) My back, again I’m not too sure why, it just hurts.

4) My left shoulder. I tackled a couch with a box frame and it smacked into a wooden beam in the middle of the couch. Yes, I am an idiot. So now that shoulder is all outta whack.

But, on the bright side, I think I have Ushiro downpat.

Oh Oh! I almost forgot! I have some exciting news! Victor, my boyfriend is going to compete in this TKD tournament later in the month! Or at least I hope he competes….he’s a 3rd degree black belt, and he is so flexible it hurts to watch, and he is just…you really have to see him in class, it can be awe inspiring. The only guy I can think of that would be a toss up in a sparring match with him is this guy Brian. Vick has more power than Brian does, but Brian is FAST. in the time it takes a human to blink, he’s fucked you up bad and made you look like a Picasso!

But seriously, I hope he competes. He should do really well. And besides, I want to camcord it and watch it over and over and over again. Partly because it’s cool, and partly because…well, you try watching a good martial artist do complicated forms…with his do bok half open and the deep rooted ki ahps…..you just try watching that and NOT get turned on! And sparring! I’m not even going to go into how much fun THAT is too watch!

Although, there is one negative side effect of knowing people who are THAT good. It just makes you feel so insignificant. Like you can’t do anything in comparison. I mean, seriously. I can’t think of a single thing I can do better than him… And I’m not all that good looking, I sometimes wonder why the hell he’s with me. Did he sit on a duck? You guys know that joke right? These people go to heaven and there is one rule, if you sit on a duck you are handcuffed to someone REALLY ugly!

Anyways, it’s getting late and I need my sleep. So I shall bid you all adieu.

-Lisa

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March 1, 2002

Thought I would share this entry from my diary from 14 years ago. I was 17 when I wrote this. I find this ever so amusing now… “I don’t want to be a boring teacher anymore” – there was a brief period of my adolescence where I thought I wanted to be a speech teacher (Mostly because that was my favorite class and Mrs. Malinak was amazing. Still is). Now I’m nearly 31, in a committed relationship with a teacher, and just re-applied for grad school in the hopes of becoming a school social worker. 🙂

There was also a period where I really wanted to go into the military. My father, his brothers, and my grandfathers had all been in the military. At the time, I was really close to my father and I wanted to make him proud of me. Had I gone in, I would have been the first female in my family to join. This period of my life was also filled with a lot of self-loathing and internalized misogyny that had been handed down to me from my father. I felt like I needed to shun anything about me that was “too girly” to be worthwhile or to gain my father’s approval.

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Later that year I did follow through with these goals. That summer I made the phone calls to different instructors and started studying Tae Kwon Do and Aikido. I started trying to eat healthier – this was more of a phase 1 in that I stopped sitting on the couch eating bags of doritos. started exercising by way of martial arts, and stopped eating so many doritos. Because I wanted to impress/ not embarrass myself in front of a boy (the TKD instructor’s son), I added some new foods to the list of things I would eat. I still have no idea what is in an eggroll and I’m perfectly happy NOT knowing.

These are still basic goals that I have for myself, trying to improve myself. I’ve been doing pretty good in trying to eat healthier and lose weight – I’m at 139.8 lbs today. I’m not taking lessons anymore, but I’m still exploring new interests and learning new skills.