Returning from Hiatus

General Life Updates:

     It’s been two and a half years. Some of you reading this are already aware of some of what has been going on with my life as you’re either friends with me on Facebook or you follow my A’Cloth the World artist/ blogger page there. Hopefully this won’t be entirely redundant.

• Perhaps the biggest piece of news I have to share is that I’ve successfully completed graduate school earlier this year. I now have a Master’s degree in Social Work. My long hiatus can largely be attributed to having had to put so much time and energy into school. But, even in these few months since I’ve completed the program, I’ve needed time to simply relax and recharge. In a lot of respects, grad school kicked my butt and utterly drained me. Ultimately, though, I’m glad to have gotten through it and I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve had and people I’m met that I otherwise wouldn’t have.
• I actually have some rudimentary knowledge of Turkish now. The university where I did my grad program offers Turkish classes at the Elementary, Intermediate, and Advanced levels. I ended up taking an extra year of coursework and so, since I could, I managed to at least complete the Elementary level before I graduated. Türkçe güzel bir dil. Daha öğrenmek istiyorum. (Turkish is a beautiful language. I want to learn more.)
• After 4.5 years of selling books online, I *finally* got around to creating a business page for AikiFox Books on Facebook. Of course, I now have the problem of not being entirely sure what I should be posting on said business page beyond notices of new listings as I add things to my inventory.

Possible Futures:

I have found myself, as I have many times before over the years, unsure of which direction to go as I amble forward. All of these internet-based projects I had been working on – my Lammily group on Facebook, my YouTube channel, even this blog – have ended up much like the myriad craft projects that find themselves sitting in the closet as perpetual works-in-progress. The question is, do I want to pick them up and start working on them again? Or am I itching to start that next thing? I have some many ideas swirling around my head, but I know they cannot all come to fruition.

• A’Cloth the World – As far as this blog goes, I already have a few post coming showcasing some of the crafty work I have done during the hiatus. I don’t think I’ve written the last of my doll stories. I’ve not yet decided whether I want to keep those here on this blog, or whether I want to create a secondary blog dedicated to that. What do you think? I’m open to suggestions from readers.
• YouTube – I think I have largely already decided that I’m not going to continue trying to create content on YouTube. For the most part, it’s much too overwhelming for me and I don’t feel my content was even that good. Many of the videos I had made are far too cringe-inducing for me to watch now and I’ve already gone in and adjusted the privacy settings for most of the videos. At this point, I think *if* I were to try the YouTube thing again, I would rather make an entirely different channel and use it as an outlet for practicing Turkish. I’ve seen a few other Turkish vlogs from non-native speaking YouTubers. I think it could be a fun motivator me. But, time will tell if I ever do it.
• Handmade Lammily Fashions – I’m thinking I should find another Admin for the group. I’ve been the sole Admin since I created it and I feel like it has suffered as I haven’t been able to give it the attention it should have gotten. The banner needs updated and we need to do something fun to renew interest in it.
• Income – Aside from encouraging you all to peruse the books I sell online or trying to sell doll clothes or other crafty things on Etsy, I’ve decided I may as well put up a button or something for my PayPal. I need to figure out how to make a widget or something. In the meantime – if you like what I write, if you’ve found any of it helpful, consider sending me something at paypal.me/AikiFox 🙂

 

The Question of Content

The muse for this post was this Veritasium video – I started to share/ comment on Facebook, but quickly realized I was writing a small novel.

While I certainly don’t have the kind of subscriber or viewer numbers to really matter at this point anyway (and the shift in my time and attentions once grad school started slumped down what numbers I did have as I simply wasn’t making anything at that point), but this is something I have been seeing as well: The rise in time-sensitive video topics and click bait.

 

I haven’t posted anything myself in some months – either here or on Youtube. I’ve been working on some doll unboxing videos here and there since the start of the year, nothing to upload yet, just a number of them in various states of completion. And I have been hesitant to post what I have done, as many of those videos would now be considered “old news”.

The Moana doll that I got for Christmas? I haven’t even seen her for sale for over a month. Those Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice collector dolls from Mattel were only big right after that movie came out. Is it even worth the time at this point to finish editing the unboxing of the Batman doll I got? The big thing in the doll-world at this moment is the new Ken dolls. My most viewed blog post was from Feb 2016 when I wrote that comparison between all the new Barbies and Lammily. I’ve considered doing a companion for these new guys, but I would need to go buy the short Ken and there are already dozens of other blogs and videos at this point. So is it worth it? And even if I could manage to stay on top of every new release and quickly turn out new content for every new hot item, I certainly don’t have the income to buy every hot doll that comes out the moment it comes out. I really need to re-assess what kind of content I’m creating.

Readership has been steadily decreasing – I deeply appreciate those of you who stick around despite the periods of lull. 

Although the Spring semester ended nearly 2 months ago, I’ve not yet produced what I had hoped to. I’ve taken some of that time to just relax and allow myself to de-stress rather than quickly switch gears and just keep pushing myself. It’s been worth it. My creativity has started to flow again. I have ideas again. That urge to make things has come back — If you follow me on Facebook, you’ve already seen some of these results. (Sorry, Twitter people, I always mean to post there as well, I just don’t always remember).

I made this little bodhran and tipper just the other day.

I have roughly another month and a half left before the Fall semester begins. Let’s see what I can churn out in that time.

Still Alive!

Thought I’d pop on here and write another check-in sort of post as I have been MIA for some months (Yay Grad School!). My blog, my Youtube channel, my Twitter, and my Facebook page all seem to have gone dark recently while I’ve been scrambling to stay afloat this semester. I’ve still been posting to my personal Facebook, though – and I had started to write another post there when it occurred to me that perhaps I can just start posting some of those things here instead. Sound good? Ok!

List of Things I Want to Eventually Do (But Currently Don’t Have Time For):

1. Make more doll clothes – I have all of these ideas in my head of epic outfits I want to make! So much 1/6 scale Cosplay in my mind!
2. Learn Turkish – Ok, so I actually started learning some Turkish last summer via Skype lessons with Mehmet Seyhan (I encourage you to check out his Youtube channel. He teaches both Turkish and Japanese). Unfortunately, I was unable to stick with the Skype lessons because of the demands of grad school and have lost part of what I did learn…
3. Learn how to play the spoons – Have you ever heard anyone play the spoons? This is just cool.
4. Get back into fiddle – I actually started playing the fiddle 11 years ago, inspired by the fiddler for a local Celtic band I was enthralled with in undergrad. I wasn’t the greatest at it, but one can only get better with practice. I haven’t touched it in years.
5. Learn Irish – I’ve been enthralled with Gaeilge since I was in 7th grade. However, I never had many resources for learning it until recent years and no one to really practice with.
6. Learn Irish Dancing – Another thing I’ve wanted to do since I was a child. But I lived in a small midwestern town where there weren’t many outlets for it and the couple there were, I wasn’t even aware of until I was in undergrad. And now I am much too old for any of the schools I have access to.
7. Return to Aikido – I started studying Aikido when I was 17. (This is where the “aiki” in my Twitter handle aikifox85 and bookstore AikiFox Books comes from) I was passionate and very involved for a number of years. And then I moved to Champaign 11 years ago when I transferred from community college to the University of Illinois in undergrad and no longer had the time and money to continue. Or rather, I prioritized other things.
8. Learn Hindi – I know a handful of words and a few sentences that I’ve picked up from movies and from Indian friends over the years. I started trying to teach myself around the same time I started this blog, actually. As is a common theme for me, I got distracted with other things. I still have the books, though.
9. Make a quilt for myself – I made that Batman quilt for my brother some years ago, which he still has and sleeps with regularly, but have not made another quilt since. And I never *did* manage to go anywhere with the Nataraja quilt idea I had…
10. Travel – So many places I want to visit! I want to go to India, Turkey, and Ireland most. I want to see Canada, especially Nova Scotia. I want to visit places here in the US as well that I have never seen. Fun Fact: Prior to meeting my boyfriend, I had actually started the paperwork to join the Peace Corps. For better or worse, I chose to stay and invest my time and energy into exploring and then building that relationship. I still feel that pull to venture outward, though.

There are so many wonderful and exciting things in this life, so much to do, to see, to learn – more than can be experienced in a single lifetime. And this is leaving aside the fact that in many cases time and/ or money are luxuries people do not have. And now, back to homework – in the hopes that someday I will have the time and the money in which to do all of these things.

The Struggle Is Real

Homework keeps me away from blogging for long stretches of time, and so the traffic dwindles. Looking at that bigger picture, though: My MSW.

Oh, do I long for the days when I was complaining about what I thought was a lack of time. Nary did I realize just how much I could push myself to do in short spans of time. Grad school does not screw around. I’d been out of college for 7 years – there are parts of my brain I’ve had to drown in WD-40.

One of the myriad assignments I’m working on this weekend, is a policy brief for the school’s blog site. Yeah, I’m about to get graded on blogging. And, for better or worse, I’m putting my name on it and planning to link back here. I figure any prospective employer or future client can easily find my blog through a cursory googling of my name, so I may as well just go for the cross traffic.

Although, I am competing with a doctor in Texas for relevancy.

Afterall, I’ve been watching my stats steadily decrease as this page has fallen to the bottom of the priority list since entering grad school. So, Hello newcomers, those trying to decide whether or not to employ me, and random stalkers! Welcome! 😀

As I was saying, I’m trying to put together something decent for this blog assignment. Of course, it made me think of my own poor neglected blog. And so…

I’ve missed you, Blog. I can just be myself with you. You never care about what I’m wearing or how I look – Video always demands that I look my best and then he makes me feel bad because I’m not as conventionally attractive as other Youtubers. He doesn’t listen to me quite the same way. He never wants to just lay in bed and relax in peaceful contemplation together. But, I have to admit that I’ve been seduced by Video. He’s flashy, charismatic, and is quite popular. Can you blame me?
You see, Blog, as much as I love you, there is no way you can ever meet all of my needs, just as Video can never meet all of my needs… I love you both, I…

Ok, that might be the line on literary personification. I don’t see any way going forward with that wouldn’t get creepy. Anyhoo — If you follow this blog, I do recommend checking out the Youtube channel as well. I don’t always link all my videos here, and there have been quite a few. Here is a bit of what you’ve been missing:

-I recently made one of those sped-up coloring videos. The time it took for all the video to render was ridiculous.

-I also managed to pick up one of the 50th Anniversary Star Trek collector Barbies…

The Smell of Melted Plastic in the Morning…

On a day when my energy is all but drained and my uterus is waging war on me, this is how I manage to maintain some semblance of productivity. Hello again, long abandoned reader! Tell me in the comments how you’ve managed to survive without me over the past month – I promise I’ll read it, but I’ll likely make one of the dolls respond. Let me know who your favorite dolly is and I’ll tape them to the laptop with the hair dryer pointed at them until they write back to you.

Now… updates. I survived my first semester of grad school – I even aced both of the courses I took. I don’t really feel the least bit celebratory about it, though. I’ve been out of school for some years and I’ve never held a 4.0 before. You’d think I’d be ecstatic. I think I’m too busy looking at the 5 classes I’ll have to juggle starting a week from tomorrow. If I come out of that in December with the same success, then I’ll let myself acknowledge it.

I’ve been doing my best to make the most use of these two weeks between semesters: I took a trip to visit friends and family for a couple of days last week, I spent another couple of days doing a major purge of clothes I’ve been hoarding in my closet for 6 years, and I’ve been working on filming videos for Youtube that I can hold onto for when I inevitably get too bogged down with homework to create during the coming semester.

I recently collaborated with the Volunteer Superviser from the Books to Prisoners program I’m involved with to create a couple of videos. The first of these videos serves to break down how the Books to Prisoners program works overall and how to go about connecting inmates to them. The second of these videos, which I’ve just publicly released today, discusses what volunteers do and how to get involved.

Despite having been working with them for over a year, this was a learning experience for me as well. For the most part, the role I play, important as it is, can sometimes feel disconnected from the everyday workings of the organization.

I don’t have a coherent ending to this, so, here are some photos of dolls:

On My Mind

I should be working on my midterm paper for my human development class right now. But I keep getting distracted and checking my personal Facebook account. My heart is so sad right now…

I don’t even know what to say or where to focus my grief. A couple of weeks ago, I posted this video on Youtube:

Already overwhelmed by all of the important news stories going on throughout the world, I didn’t know what I should say or how to process it. I needed to tune out and take a break. In just the couple of weeks since that video, even more chaos has erupted. There have been terror attacks by ISIS in Istanbul and in Baghdad, during Ramadan of all times. I considered whether I should change my profile picture to an image of the Turkish flag but then decided not to because I didn’t see how that would help any more than all of the well meaning, but ineffective, thoughts and prayers. And this coming in the wake of the Orlando shooting that I was still processing.

Now there have been more lives needlessly lost on American soil as two more black men have been murdered by police. Unfortunately, this is not a new story. This has happened time and time again, more times than we have news coverage for. There is a long standing pain being felt in African American communities that I have never experienced, but have heard about from the voices of members of those communities. Then just the other night, a group of police officers in Dallas lost their lives by sniper fire that, from accounts I’ve read thus far, came from a couple of black men. And I feel pain for the loss of these lives as well. As much as it seems the media wants to have us believe that this is an either/ or situation, it is not. I recognize and commend the men and women in law enforcement that put their lives on the line to serve and protect – but we also need standards and accountability.

There is so much pain and hate and hurt and sorrow…

A Transition and A Shameless Plug

     A couple of fairly significant changes have taken place over the last few weeks. 10 days ago I officially started Graduate School. I knew this was coming, I’ve done my best to ready myself for entering into full time school again after getting my BA 7 years ago, but I am admittedly still scrambling a bit. My first paper was due yesterday morning and I only managed to finish it 8 minutes before class started. (I may recycle some of my homework here if I ever find myself in need of subject matter >:)  )
I also handed in my resignation letter and left the full time job I’d had for 3 years on the same day. I had intended on continuing to work full time, but, about a week and a half before my (former) co-workers and I were all handed letters saying that the shelter would be closing and we were to be reassigned within the agency. I chose to leave rather than chance jeopardizing school with an uncertain but likely fluctuating schedule.  I am a day-walker once more.

     Fortunately I was eligible for student loans, so as long as I stick to a budget, I will be able to survive. However, being loans, I will have to pay them back eventually. I don’t even want to do the math on what my student loan debt is going to be when I’ve finished this program. Why is higher education in the United States so damn expensive?
Thankfully, I’m still generating some kind of income from my gig with Urbana-Champaign Books to Prisoners. The downside however, is that I can’t budget it as there is no way of knowing how many books I will sell from one month to the next. So, if you’re reading this, whether you’re a regular reader or someone that happened across this one post, consider buying a book from my Amazon store, AikiFox Books, and helping to support both myself and this pretty cool non-profit. Especially now since this is now my primary income source. I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything (totally a guilt trip)  😉

And for all of you that haven’t followed me on Youtube yet (what are you even waiting for? Go subscribe to me, damnit!) here is a video from earlier in the month (perhaps a week before finding out about the shelter closing) that shows you what is pretty much a typical night at B2P:

Photographer Lammily is Here!!!

After roughly a year of waiting from the time she was available for pre-order, my new photographer Lammily finally came home this weekend! It was very hard for me to not immediately take her out of the box to introduce her to the rest of the dolly family. But I was good and I waited until I had the time to film her unboxing:

Here are some close-up shots of her. I really like how her feet and hands are a lighter shade:

I’ve still not decided upon a name for her, but I like the idea that she grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana. I had the pleasure of going to New Orleans in October of 2015. I really enjoyed myself there and would like to go back someday.

After filming her unboxing and taking close-ups yesterday, I introduced her to some of my other dolls. A group of them – Aideen, Mitsuko, TJ, and Morrígan (with her bağlama in hand) – took a ride out to a local park in my backpack with our newest friend. Morrígan played and sang for us while the photographer and I took a bunch of photos.

It would also seem that our new lady and TJ are pretty cozy together…

 

Youtubing with My Mother

A couple of weeks ago, I made a trip out to visit family. I spent the early part of the day hanging out with my grandmother, and then took my mother out for some shenanigans later that evening.

My mother works overnight shifts also, and we both had the night off. There are very few options of things to do at 2 AM in the morning. So, we went out to a local Meijer store to entertain ourselves. I had my camera with me and she agreed to let me film her and put her on the internet. How much love can I get for my mom? 🙂

Re-Use Art Show: The New IDEA Store Event Space

Above: Classic photo recursivity – me taking a picture of Melissa Mitchell taking a picture of me taking a picture of her…

Long time readers of this blog will recall both my love of art and my previous posts about The IDEA Store and creative re-use art. On two separate occasions I participated in the Hatch Art Show. Recently, The IDEA Store expanded to include a new classroom as well as event space. This past weekend, on May 20th, 2016 to be specific, they held their grand opening of said event space. My camera and I were in attendance.

Before I get to the actual art, I’d like to share this photo of area artists Cindy Sampson and Melissa Mitchell. I don’t think I can fully express just how wonderful these two women are and how much they inspire me. Not only are they talented artists but they are good, kindhearted people and great friends. While I had taken a couple of standard photos of these two together, I managed to snap this shot in the midst of genuine laughter and storytelling.

And now, on to the art! These are only a small representation of the works currently on display at the IDEA Store gallery – my understanding is that they’ll be on display through at least June 3, 2016.

 

 

David Spears, “Conundrum”

I just thought this was a really interesting and clever way to use all the stray puzzle pieces that end up scattered about.

Christina Nordholm, “Dance Club”

Christina Nordholm, “Ready to Burn”

I particularly like the way she incorporates tree bark into these pieces. I really enjoy the texture. Of the two, I prefer “Ready to Burn” because I personally enjoy the energy coming from it. I’m not sure whether it’s more like looking into the heart of a bonfire or Hell itself. Either way, I like it.

Grace Savina, “Paintings Past”

I’m not quite sure what it is I’m looking at, but I kind of like that she managed to find a way to use old paint scraps. They almost look like little islands.

Grace Savina, “Dualities of Being”

Again, not sure what the artist intended for these to be, but, to me, they look like really colorful intestines. Like someone gutted a unicorn. Or it exploded and this was just a section of gut splatter. I kind of doubt this is what she was going for, but this is where my warped mind took it.

Barry Land, “Love is Dead”

I always get a kick of out this kind of artwork. I have absolutely NO skill for it myself, but scrap-metal sculptures always make me smile. This one also makes me sad, though.

Barry Land, “Untitled”

Perhaps “Ode to Johnny 5” would have been copyright infringement? And yeah, he also looks like Wall-E. But we all know Wall-E was just a rip off of Johnny 5. If you don’t know who Johnny 5 is, I feel sorry for you, bro.

Jason Rackow, “Untitled”

Jason Rackow, “Sentience”

This is one of those pieces I would totally hang in my apartment, provided I had the money and the space. I don’t really have anything profound to say here, this piece is just Cool. As. F**k. Look that the close-up shots of that texture. Who knew all those little bits and pieces scattered about the garage could look like this?

Cindy Sampson, “Landscape”

Cindy Sampson, “Lone Tree”

I wish I could have gotten a better shot of this one. This was actually my favorite piece of the show and I couldn’t even really capture why. Because I’m too short and it was hanging too high for me to get a head on shot. The glare from the lighting at this angle does this piece a serious injustice.  I’m sure you can make out the main tree of in the painting. It seems to stand amidst a field of ghost trees. What you cannot see well in this photo, is that the paperwork underneath has faded building plans printed on it. To me, it seems to say suggest that this tree lost all of it’s friends and family to ever increasing urban expansion.The fruit and rust stains have the look of blood to me. Yeah, my mind is dark. I am very drawn to artwork like this where I can find and this kind of haunting meaning in it. It’s the kind of art the speaks to me on some deeper level.